Have you ever had that feeling when it seems everything is against you?

I remember a time many years ago when something was wrong in my relationship. At the same time, something went wrong with the finances. My children added more pressure and something cracked.

Suddenly life was in turmoil. When this happened I tried to bury my head in the sand. I hoped all the troubles would somehow miraculously go away and tried to pretend nothing was wrong.

As things got progressively worse, I went into fight or flight – do I stay and work this out, or run like mad. I stressed over things that didn’t matter and missed the things that did.

I put on weight. I pretended I was scared and made up woe-is-me stories in my mind that convinced me I couldn’t do anything about anything. I made excuses. I procrastinated. I paced up and down and my life issues kept going round in circles.

In my experience of working with people, it’s not unusual for people who have troubles to point to their circumstances or to someone else and say it’s their fault. But what I can share with you here is that nothing will change until the blaming stops.

In hindsight, if I’d owned up to my own responsibilities a lot sooner, I’d have spared myself a sack full of emotional pain and moved on to a more pleasurable lifestyle more quickly.

However, one of the things with most of us human beings is that we often only tend to do something about things when we max-out on pain.

This is one of the reasons why I’ve now begun running a program that turns hard work and difficulties into happiness and freedom. It saves a lot of struggles and speeds up the process of change. In my experience, when you sit on something painful, it hurts. When my partner says to me, we need some time out together, I listen. I do this out of love for her and out of the knowledge that if I didn’t, things would, most likely, become progressively worse.

On the plus side, when we spend more time together we always enjoy it. Our needs are met, and we then feel we can handle anything else that comes up in our life from a place of love, rather than a place of need and desperation.

When I’m working late at home and the kids express their demands for my time and attention, they’re saying ‘Dad we need time together.’ If I ignore their request things get worse. If I meet their needs, things get better.

There are countless other examples I could give you. There are many signals given to us about transforming our lives. Many of these clues are never seen by us. They pass by unnoticed and the stresses, frustration, and sense of going nowhere fast build-up.

For many, their life journey and purpose becomes obscured. When this happens depression can set in. I’m sure though, and maybe you agree, that there must be a better way to live.

1. What issue keeps coming up for you?

2. What have you done to change it?

3. What could you do that you haven’t done?

4. Are you stopping yourself for a reason?

5. Have you researched a possible way to overcome this, or have you given up?

6. Don’t give up. In the words of Tony Robbins, ‘Find a way or make a way.’

With Love and good wishes


Do you have a sense that we should all be happy? Do you feel there is more to life than stress and struggles? Would you like to see life get a little better? Would you like to see your life getting progressively better, a step at a time?

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